How to Deal with a Strong-Willed Child

“Sweetheart, say goodbye to your playmates now. We have to go.”

“No! I want to stay! I don’t wanna go home yet, mum.”

“But we have to leave. It’s getting late. Come on! ”

“I’m not coming with you! I’m staying!”

Do you have a stubborn child who argues with you all the time? And when you tell him to do something, he doesn’t comply and you don’t know what to do to get him do it? Needless to say, the last thing that you’d want to happen is to yell at him or punish him for his actions. As you read further, you’ll stumble upon parenting tips on how you can deal with your strong-willed child.

“Parents can help their child manage this intensity by teaching them the skills to understand their triggers, know what soothes them, and help them build the vocabulary to express emotions. Then, parents can show their child how to channel this intensity into a positive outlet."  - Mary Sheedy Kurcinka author of "Raising Your Spirited Child"

Willfulness can be tolerable as it is a part of your child’s growing up process. But sometimes, it gets to a point that autonomy presides over your child’s life, making it more difficult for you to cope with it. The emotional response of a strong-willed child is to get angry if he does not get what he wants. That’s when “I want..” turns into “I SHOULD have..”   Some kids seem to be naturally born strong-willed, possibly due to the genes transmitted to them—the personality, temper, and physical attributes.  In other cases, some parents tend to battle with their child’s stubbornness resulting to his empowering persistence and tenacity. Referring to Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s statement above, parents are responsible in making their child a better person. What you enforce at home has an impact on your child’s emotional and social development.  If you react violently on situations, there is a great chance for your child to get hold of such attitude. That’s why it is wrong to upset your child whenever he does something that you don’t like. You must learn to act upon these circumstances suitably.

With this, here are tips on how to deal with a strong-willed child.

• Give him choices but set limits.
• Strong-willed children are good at solving problems. Do not command your child; rather ask him how he will do it because it will make challenge him to think. He will carry out the task once he realizes the answer.
• Never hurt or yell at your child because it will not solve the problem. Talk to him calmly and listen to what he has to say.
• If your child screams at you, tell him that his attitude is not acceptable in a normal voice. Don’t escalate the problem by shouting, too. This would make him realize that he should not be in control.
• Give your child a firm, direct, consistent message. Set limits that include consequences for disobedience.
• Consequences can be: no playing with toys, no watching TV, no eating sweets, etc. You can set duration for the punishment. Through this, he’ll learn to take or accept penalties for his wrong deeds.

Take note of the tips above if you think you’re one of the parents who are struggling to keep a healthy relationship with their strong-willed child. Bear in mind that discipline and correct governance are the main solution to the problem. In addition, make sure that your family lives in a well-ordered environment where your child can grow happy, mannerly, and respectful. If you need more help, contact a Parenting Expert who can guide you all the way.